As I sit on my idle chair, many weird thoughts compete against each other struggling for supremacy. Each new player seems better than the retired one and the bench strength seems to be very powerful. I cracked the nut but only to find that what lay inside was already wormed. Now the worm seems so beautiful that I cannot wait for it to turn butterflies. A pop up window emerges each time I click a link to find the right site. It asks me to refine my old dictionary or to change my whole operating system. But I do not have enough time to upgrade myself. Do I just keep rebooting over and over again? My outdated anti-virus has to give up someday fighting my cute trojans. But This old anti-virus is also so dear that I wish to just downgrade myself to Me1.0 from the current Me2.0 rather than uninstalling it. But was there a real Me1.0 in the first place?
A stranger once told me that my thoughts emerge from distributed locations through out my body. I thought she was complementing me but as I think again, I feel I was just being "sarcasticated". It now truly seems like my brain has melted and resolidified throughout my body. Naturally, problems were ought to arise when incapable organs started thinking. I have been scolding my useless thoughts and shameless ideas but they wish to trouble me again. They seem to look at me angrily all the time as if it was their birthday and I was not wishing them purposely. How can a mother with a zillion kids remember all birthdays?
Am I lost in transit? Or is it just a phase that every person pushes through at this hour of the day? Why am I confused? Am I really thinking wisely or Am I just acting brave? I have the answers to my questions but again, these answers do not satisfy me completely. I need proofs. I need evidences to believe that everything's fine. Why are my thoughts so drunk? I can put a few to sleep but not all. I wish to take good care of them. But they are addicted and need a break. But Its sad that there is no rehabilitating them. Because they are plain abstract and shapeless. Is there anybody or anything that can give them a non-addictive kick? I can sell my time. I can sell my peace. I can sell my energy. I can sell my space. I can give whatever it takes to pocket my thoughts back.
Its raining outside now but its pouring inside me. So I had to drain everything out. I am sorry if I flooded your mind space with this. What seems crap to you is making complete sense to me. My thoughts are so drunk that nobody except me can understand their blabber. I just request your patience.
If you cannot help them, at least do not invite them to your party tomorrow. Give them time to realign and realize. I am trying my best to put them to sleep.
Please no more shots for my thoughts!
